one more cup of coffee for the road

one more cup of coffee 'fore I go

to the valley below

二十多個小時後回到家，遊子的心卻留在別處。人呀，離開自己的原居地，是因為那裡沒有安逸的日子所以要另謀出路，還是日子太過安逸而渴望冒險？我想不通，然後舉足不前。櫃枱 check-in 那剎那，我真的猶豫了，但始終我登上回家的班機。最後的一個晚上，音樂酒吧傳來彈奏大提琴的聲音，吸引我過去了，替旅程的尾升下了註腳一樣，似乎在提醒我要記得甚麼。

if it be your will / that I speak no more / and my voice be still / as it was before

last day, last few hours to go...

「我想留下來！」﹣﹣會說這種話，真的像是個不知天高地厚的傻瓜，但是，內心一直很想改回程日期。尤其今晚室友跟我說，在路邊擺檔唱歌的她，終於接受到第一個路過的人發出的casting邀請，casting是關於lady gaga，詳細是怎樣我也沒有問了，反正我很激動，對呀，這就是紐約，紐約大概就是長這個樣子。因為還有兩三天就要回程，我不禁緊張起來，像我準備前往紐約那時候那般緊張，我不知道我搞甚麼的，除了放在art fair的畫賣掉以外，我根本沒有做過甚麼，就只是看風景，看人，看天氣。然後，準備回家了，就是這樣，緊張得肚子不斷翻騰想吐（應該是吃錯甚麼或是喝掉變壞的酒）。

"i want to stay here!" -- this statement sounds really naive, like a folly, but yes, that's what in my mind: i want to change the date of my return ticket. especially after hearing my roomie told me that she got an invitation for a casting, my emotions is going to explode. the casting is something about lady gaga, by a lady passing by, when she was singing in the street. what about lady gaga, ohhhh what really matter, it's something big, isn't it? this is new york, i guess that's how new york suppose to be. i just have two to three days more to stay, so yeah, i'm getting nervous, just as nervous as i was preparing to come here. though i don't know what i have done here, except my work was sold in the art fair, then, i haven't done much after. just looking around, looking the scene, the people, the weather. yup, time to go home, that's it, just my stomach not feeling very well, ohh too nervous, i've got to puke... (i've eaten something wrong or just got some bad wine, i guess)

我說，我想看日落，所以我們拐了個灣，來到布魯克林東河小公園，看著太陽慢慢地消失於對岸曼哈頓，世貿中心重蓋中。快要道別了，我想我喜歡這裡。

whoever said that thing about dogs being "man's best friend".....

... obviously didn't like to drink as much as I do. 

David Kramer

昨天才經過布魯克林區的一個各落，竪立了一個紀念卑，寫上「二〇〇一年九月十一日當天，這個社區目睹事發經過，我們致誠悼念。」

豈料稍晚，四方八面傳來了消息，波士頓發生爆炸。

幾小時前我才在回想十二年前發生的慘劇，幾小時後，又一陣無聲沉默。

有人傷痛，有人惋惜，有人說美國不早前才襲繫伊拉克，但卻被媒體忽略。生命總是毫無準備地被帶到世間，又無辜地被摧毁。

Some days everyone treats you like a princess, the other day they treat you like you are a beggar. Oh world, tell me how I suppose to be myself. You always hear something, some of them you try to listen and learn, then everything eventually form you as who you are but not that true that who you want to be. If you open up to hear everything, people say you are not listening to your heart, if you try to be yourself, people say you are stubborn. People always have something to say.

Be a lady
Enjoy life
Be polite, be humble
You grow up, don't act like a child
Don't always say sorry
Don't need to tell your weakness
To share
Don't trust anyone
Hide your last card

oh baby baby it's a wild world... and i always remember you like a child, girl....

我的大日子大概還沒到來，無所事事不為甚麼，度步，來回度步，現在就我自己一個人了。搬離了曼哈頓，來到布魯克林，走了一圈，苦惱著接下來的日子要做甚麼。回想起過去兩星期花天酒地，嘿，要不要炫耀好呢？不妨喧鬧一下叫人因為妒忌而生氣。我知道你會殷切地向我祝賀，說我是個幸運兒，若你夠誠懇，還會對我美言一翻；真感謝你。

每個人都忙著糾正別人，似乎在等對方說：「好，我會改進。」

天氣有點乾燥，不，我太含蓄了，是極其乾燥，我不適應以致呼吸感到痛楚，皮膚爆裂；其實我小題大造，事實也沒那麼誇張。文字本來就隨君把玩，天馬行空揑造事實虛構故事誇大其詞，好，來點真實報導但乍看有點沉悶。著實都是題外話，思緒的飄移總比輕敲鍵盤的速度快，難道大家還不習慣言之無物這玩意嗎？紐約，紐約，這是形容詞，還是名詞，我就在這裡，我沒有稀罕過甚麼，也不敢輕視甚麼，我就站在這裡，第幾大道與第幾街的交界，用數字來編排的縱橫似乎井井有條，實際上我失去方向。你能了解嗎？我想我會離開你，千里迢迢來到這裡，本來就是要離開你。你懂不懂我的意思，還是你縱容我的文字。一時的情緒設下的陷井你卻看得太認真，就像把玩古物，甚麼年代哪個帝皇，沒有，我沒有，其實我沒有意麼話要傳達。嘴吧癢說上兩句，大家來聊聊，不好意思，我忘了問你叫甚麼名字。